You Should Like Girls

 Last Saturday morning, I had three girls – little Goma, Sabita, and Kalpana – hanging out in my room and looking at the pictures on my wall. I was showing them my family and friends… “that’s my mom, that’s my dad, that’s my friend Chelsea, that’s my boyfriend Matt…” YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND?! they all shouted. In Nepal, marriages are arranged by the parents of the bride and groom so dating and the idea of boyfriends and girlfriends is somewhat of an anomaly to the kids. Most couples don’t kiss, might not even hold hands, until the day of their marriage. So when I showed the girls a picture of my significant other Matt, this of course prompted many questions. “You like him?” “Do you kiss him?” “How did he become your boyfriend?” Their eyes got wider and wider with each question. Then we continued looking at pictures. “Here is my sister Erin and my oldest sister Caitlin and here is Mary, Caitlin’s girlfriend.” GIRLFRIEND?! THAT GIRL IS GIRLFRIEND OF YOUR SISTER?! If the idea of me having a boyfriend was interesting, this new idea – that both my sisters like girls - absolutely blew their minds. They asked me how two girls could like each other and I tried to explain that sometimes you can’t help who you like, some people are attracted to men and some people are attracted to women. “So you mean a girl can like a boy or a girl can like a girl?” Yes, they liked this idea. They asked me if two girls could get married and I told them in some states yes, and that I hoped someday, two girls could get married anywhere. This also pleased them. “Do you think we could come back to the United States with you so me and Goma can marry each other?” Kalpana asked. This brought a huge smile to my face and some accompanying giggles. They fired off question after question until the lunch bell rang. As we headed downstairs to eat some daal bhat, Sabita said to me, “Matt is a nice boy but you know if things don’t work out, I think you should try liking girls.” And with that, I think the discussion about homosexuality was a great success!  

goma & sabita

kalpana being the best big sister to lil bro namraj

love this picture of me & bindu

This chat with my three little buddies was probably the highlight of my week. They’ve spent all of their lives living in a poor village in a developing country in a patriarchal society and it’s easy to forget how little they know about life outside of Surkhet. I love educating them about the world, hearing their thoughts and what they find intriguing, and challenging their views with new concepts and ideas. They are beautiful and brilliant kids and deserve to know they can be whoever they want to be and do whatever they want to do in life, and I think our conversation helped them realize this a little bit more.